Consequences of Uninvolved Parenting

The four main parenting styles include the following: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Each is different and they reap different results too. In this article, we discuss the uninvolved parenting style, which can be just as damaging as authoritative as well as the permissive parenting.

Children depend on the ones closest to them to be their first teachers who will help them in everything they do. Imagine then, a life without this guidance – children will be lost. It is akin to neglect, if you think about it. This happens with many children whose parents are derelict to give them the time and care that they need. Uninvolved parenting is such that it is dismissive in nature. It continues like a chain, as the ignored children grow up into insecure individuals.

It’s been discovered that many parents resort to uninvolved parenting because they were brought up that way, or are so engaged in their life (job/stress) that they seldom find time for their kids. This leads to an emotional trauma on the child, and further affects their physical and mental health, for children need their parents guidance and support to thrive.

What Uninvolved Parenting Looks Like
Uninvolved parents don’t seem to have any set boundaries for their kids’ actions, and offer no support to their kids either. They could be because they’re tied up with other matters, or simply can’t be bothered to see to their kids’ needs to be supervised and supported. Kids growing up in a household such as this may end up feeling neglected and uncared for.

In uninvolved parenting, the parents are often detached from their children. They also don’t seem to have any expectations from their child. They may offer lessons on how to live, but not how to survive. Hence, their children have basic amenities such as house, food, and clothing, but they’ll probably have to look after themselves. The parent-kids relationship is passive to a large extent with little communication and/or love. Children often feel that their parents have other priorities over them, whereby the parents don’t realize the fact that this is not how kids should be raised.

The Effects of Uninvolved Parenting on Kids
When children grow up being neglected as in the case of uninvolved parenting, a sense of insecurity will eventually be felt, leading to serious consequences in their lives. For one, they may grow up doing the same onto others – ignoring the people around them and pulling away from social situations. They may even develop contradictory behaviors out of confusion or bewilderment, especially to people they care about in their lives. They find themselves unable to maintain good relationships with others, due to not having experienced good relationship themselves.

Children who have uninvolved parents have lower self confidence and often experience fear, anxiety and even resentfulness, especially if they realise that other parents pay more attention to their kids, compared to their own parents who ignore them.

This constant ignorance from the parents brings about situations of truancy in the kids. An example of this can be absenteeism from school, followed with the likelihood of delinquency, juvenile crimes, drug/alcohol addiction, etc.

Are You An Uninvolved Parent? Test Yourself Now!

• When you child comes home from school, is there a good meal ready for him to enjoy?
• Do you regularly help your child in his studies and extracurricular activities?
• If your child fares badly in exams, do you feel concerned?
• Does your child get to partake in any recreational activities with you now and then?
• Do you stop what you’re doing and listen if your child needs to speak to you?
• If your child gets into trouble in school, do you make an effort to get to the bottom of it?
• Does your child get to enjoy your company often?

If you answered ‘No’ to two or more of the above questions, you may be, either suspectingly or unknowingly, an uninvolved parent.

If You Think You May Be An Uninvolved Parent, Address the Situation Now.

Here are some points for you to ponder, to help you turn it around for your child and for you:

• Your child needs you and you must make some quality time for him or her, like you make time for work.
• Working parents should never try and justify the lack of attention and time given to their kids due to being busy at work.
• Always make it a point to listen to your kids before you begin speaking, no matter what the situation is at hand. In this regard, they should never feel like you’re their enemy just because they have done wrong, but rather, you’re a friend who is going to help them be a better person.
• When a child is distressed, even a hug can be of great help. Remember, children need love and warmth.
• Use mealtimes to try and address miscommunication, disconnections, etc. A hearty meal and tender conversations help a lot when times are rough between parent and child.
• It takes effort in communication, but it’s important that your child feel that he or she can trust you. Then only will they want to share their troubles with you, allowing you to guide them to the proper path.
• During those times when you are truly too busy to see to an issue, give your child a reason, for he deserves to know why. Explain the situation and assure them that you will be available for him as soon as you possibly can. And make sure you keep your word!
• As a parent, you have to have to keep a sense of balance between being strict as well as friendly with your child.
  Will you change if you realise you’re an uninvolved parent?

It’s evident by now that uninvolved parenting can have a severe, long-term negative impact on children, which include delinquency, risky behavior, difficulty with social interactions, and depression. If you feel you fit into the category of an uninvolved parent, the first thing you’ll need to do is to acknowledge it. Only then can you decide on what you can do about it.

Once you realise that you’ve been an uninvolved parent, resist living in the past, for that doesn’t help your situation. Instead, work on changing the future. The best way to start turning things around for your child is by getting involved with his or her life. This means listening to them, spending time with them, learning their needs and being responsive to them.

Even if you’ve been uninvolved in their life for a long time, every little step you make now to remedy it matters to make a marked difference in their life and in their happiness too. If the situation calls for it, apologising for the past and expressing your desire to make things better might be a very good step to take. Other steps you can take is to read parenting books and online articles, and go for counselling if necessary.

In Conclusion
If you were or are being raised by an uninvolved parent, you may have already experienced some of the negative effects of this parenting style. Recognizing that uninvolved parenting may have impacted your behavior and success in life can be hard, but it’s the first step in making positive changes for yourself and potentially your family. The important thing is to try not to hold a grudge and blame your parents for everything. Instead, take control of the situation for yourself.

Do you know someone who is an uninvolved parent?
You may personally know an uninvolved parent – either a friend or a relative. It can be a tough situation, for it may make you worried for the wellbeing of their child or children. If you know the uninvolved parent personally, having a conversation with them might be one way to go about it. Keep in mind though that people tend to get defensive when other people judge their parenting style, so this is a situation where you’ll probably have to tread lightly and carefully. Be tactful and kind while broaching the issue.

When intervention may be needed
In some severe cases, it adds up to child neglect, which is a form of child abuse. In cases like these, intervention may be needed, either to reduce some of these risks if it’s still early enough or help children heal and encourage a better family dynamic.