Ask Our Experts: Grandmothers and Early Education

I am a mother of two young children ages three and a half years old and 7 months old. My older son takes after me, a Malaysian Chinese where else my youngest, also a boy, resembles his father who is a dark-skinned Malaysian Indian. My problem lies with my own mother, who has never really liked my husband and now seems to take it out on my youngest boy, showing clear and obvious discriminating treatments toward him whenever we visit or vice-versa. My hubby has been patient all this while but I doubt he will be for long. Any advice?~

From the way you described the situation, it sounds like your mother dislikes your youngest child due to his resemblance to your husband and his ethnicity. How you handle this depends on what kind of relationship you have with your mother and how safe you feel with her. You might respectfully let her know that while you appreciate her feelings, you don’t agree with her. You could suggest that you all try spending more time together so they can get to know your husband and child better. Ultimately, what’s important is for you to do what’s healthiest for you and your life

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Back in our childhood days there was no such thing as pre-schools, let alone enrichment centers and most children who are parents and grandparents now have been living happy fruitful lives regardless. Which is why I feel that early education centers are not a definite necessity as some of my friends make it out to be. Am I totally off the track or could I be right in some way?~

This is a very good question and it’s great for the parents to question the intention of any action instead of blindly jumping on the bandwagon.

In my opinion, an all-rounded and parents-accompanied class is suitable for a child under 3 years old. The objective of attending enrichment classes at in the early years is spending time with parents while enjoying new experiences under the guidance of instructors.

It is worth noting that progress and outcomes measurement may be difficult in the early years of a child’s life. The ‘success’ of a class should be measured by the child’s and the parents’ enjoyment. Be mindful of service providers that make tall claims that they will make your child smarter.

When the child is older (above 3 years old and above), parents start to see the child’s personality forming, interests and preferences taking shape. It is a great opportunity to expose the child to classes with more specialised nature such as swimming or music.

In the early years of a child’s life, the experiences and exposures create important synapses and plant seeds of interest that shape a child’s personality. It’s great that parents have more choices of activities to expose their child to. But it’s important to remain conscious of the objective and adopt a healthy, child-centric approach to nurturing their child.