Gossip And Drama In Your Mommy Circle

Remember all those secondary school days filled with the gossip of who likes who, and who did what? And who can forget too, the school rumor starter, who somehow always had the juiciest gossip to share? Now that you’re a mommy with lots of things to do with your life, thank goodness those days are long gone. Or are they?

Watch out for the drama queen
Chances are high that among your circle of friends, there is at least one individual who loves drama and probably the attention that comes with creating that drama too. Chances are, she may be intimidating and has a penchant for making others agree with her, one way or another. Individuals such as these, as you probably have already come to learn, seem to always have the latest ‘news’, most of which no one has ever heard of before.

Unfortunately, the reason why no one heard of them is probably that they’re probably nothing but rumours, and she’s probably the source.
Things can get rough when there is a drama queen in your mommy clique, for such individuals either see their friends as accomplices or as targets. It’s safe to say at this point that you’d probably care for neither, for all you’re looking for is to spend some time with moms who have the same interests as you.

If she happens to be a part of a mommy clique that you hope to spend some quality time with, you may have to be extra careful around her, or risk being dragged into dramas you did not create, making you look as bad as her. If you’re a target, well, you’ll know it straight away when she and her ‘sidekicks’ snub you, belittle you, etc. Neither of these are good positions to be in, especially when all you want is to establish meaningful connections and friendships with other moms in the neighbourhood.

You don’t have to be part of it, you know, for it’s not such a hopeless situation as it seems! Here’s how you can deal with a drama mama.

Understanding the drama queen
The thing with drama mamas is, they’re rarely interested in the kind of friendships that other moms want to cultivate. A friend, to her, is a willing accomplice to her malice and more often than not, she is determined to be the queen bee of her clique.

When drama and come gossip knocking
When it comes to circulating gossip, do remember that silence is often interpreted as agreement or participating. So, you may think you’re in the clear by just sitting quietly and nodding away at her stories, but you’re not doing yourself any favours! Instead, voice out a carefully and diplomatically worded statement that you feel it’s best that you and her not talk about others when they’re not there to explain their alleged wrongdoing or situation. After all, the subject of her gossip isn’t there to defend herself, is she?

If that fails to stop her from going on, then it’s time you moved on from there. It may seem rude to excuse yourself abruptly, but believe us, it’s either that or risk being sucked into that wild and ugly whirlwind of gossip that is unlikely to end well. You may not be able to diffuse it, but at least, you’ll have nothing to do with it!

Entertain no malicious talk
Drama mama can’t create trouble on her own. She’ll always need to have someone on her side to either validate her actions or take the fall for them. So, if this unscrupulous individual happens to call you up for a prattle about another mother’s marital issues, or the way someone dresses, diffuse the topic and change the subject at once. Remember, even if she’s the only one talking, just by giving her your ears could mean being implicated if this gossip ever gets out of hand.

Never, ever take the easy way out and agree with a gossip queen or tell her what she wants to hear, for, at the end of the day, it spells nothing but heartache and possibly a loss of friendship for you.

She may be super-nice to you, but…
If a drama mama is busy spreading rumours about another mom, you’re being pretty naive if you think she’s not doing the same about you behind your back. So, for one, be very careful about the conversations that take place between the two of you or in her presence. Resist sharing personal views about anything or anyone with this individual, much less personal information about yourself, for you can be sure she will use it against you in the future. Of course, if you can help it, keeping away from her as much as possible will be the safest bet.

Oh no, she hates me!
There is no way one can be a target of malice and not know it. Gossip has a way of coming around and you’ll know what’s going around about you once it comes back to you. It’s not a nice position to be in at all, but you don’t have to suffer the consequences if you knew how to get around it.

Anger has never done anyone any good. In fact, it’s one of the most unhealthiest emotions. Your body will tell you when you are about to boil over. Maybe your heart thumps and races, you feel hot, or terribly bothered. Know the signs that you’ve had enough and remove yourself from the situation.

Remember, this is real life and unlike reality TV shows, you’re not contractually obligated to stay and ride out a situation that is bad. If you hear or overhear a piece of gossip about you, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, you can always excuse yourself and walk away. You don’t have to waste your precious emotional energy on trying to justify anything. So, if you feel that there’s just no end of a drama mama’s tirades, hey, it’s not your problem! Just forget about her and mind your own thing. After all, you do have a beautiful family to care for, right?

Take home message: At the end of the day, gossip and drama among friends are just not worth the consequences, so no matter how interesting or outrageously newsworthy a gossip seems to be, say you’ve got something urgent to tend to, get up and walk away!

You’re never alone
Even adults get hit with feelings of “not fitting in” and it can affect us badly. That’s when it’s time to seek out and make some new friends. Remember too, that like attracts like, so if you’re truly against mean moms and drama queens, you’ll attract the kind of friends who think like you too, provided you make it clear that you’ll have no part in mama dramas.