Ask Our Experts: Maids and Food

My husband and I both work and my 34 month old daughter is looked after by our live-in maid. Lately, my daughter seems to have developed an un-explainable attachment to my maid, who is about the same age as me. I am not sure why, but I do not feel comfortable with this. My hubby doesn’t seem to have a problem with this, and has told me to do whatever I feel is necessary, including finding a new maid. What is your advice? Thank you.

As the maid spends long hours caring for your child, inevitably she becomes the primary caregiver of your child. Thus, it is normal for your daughter to be attached to the maid. As a mother, it is only natural for you to feel uncomfortable when you see how close your child is to your maid. In fact, studies suggested that maternal attachment may be threatened if children spend more than 10 to 30 hours per week with maids.

Extensive studies have shown the detrimental effects of maids as the main childcare provider. Frequent change of maids will result in unstable care and children may become increasingly insecure, affecting their social-emotional development. Children should never be used to evaluate the maid’s fitness to work, and selections should be done before the child is born. A maid usually has no authority to set limits on children’s behavior and children will take advantage of the maid’s required obedience. All in all, a maid is not a quality childcare provider. She may not allow children to explore because she is worried that she will be blamed if the children hurt themselves. She may disapprove creativity and mess as her priority is to keep the house tidy and clean. She does not know how to stimulate children to enhance their growth and development.

A good quality nursery school may be an alternative childcare environment that can encourage learning and socializing. Nonetheless, parents have to be the consistent influences in their children’s development. No matter how busy or how tired they are after work, parents should allocate sufficient quality time with their children to reestablish their bond with them.

---

My three-year-old son has no problems trying out new foods. In fact, he seems a little adventurous with food. However, he also seems to be always either constipated or be having diarrhea, which is very frustrating to me! How can I remedy this naturally?

Your son seems to be having a condition called toddler’s diarrhea. It is common among the toddler age group and it affects more boys than girls. Affected children will have 3-4 episodes of loose or watery stools per day, which occasionally can go up to more than 10 times per day. You may also see bits of vegetables such as carrot or sweet corn in the stool. Some children will have constipation with alternating diarrhea, just like your son.

A child with toddler’s diarrhea is otherwise well, grows normally, plays normally and is usually not bothered about the diarrhea. Physical examination would also probably indicate that he’s normal too. No further tests are usually needed if the child is otherwise well. Symptoms usually settle by the age of 5-6 years. Doctor must make sure that it is not due to malabsorption or food intolerance, which may lead to failure to thrive.

The cause of toddler’s diarrhea is not clear but may be due to inefficiency of the large bowel to absorb excess water, thus inability to form more solid stool. This may be further contributed by undigested high fibers and sugar that reaches the colon which further draw the water into the colon that leads to more frequent watery stool.

Normally, no treatment or diet modification is needed, as the condition is self-limiting over time. In your case, you may consider changing your son’s eating and drinking habits, which may help to ease the diarrhea episodes. Do not offer too much fruit juices or high sugary drink, which contain high-undigested sugar that will trap water in the colon that might in turn lead to watery stool. Offer plain water instead to your thirsty child. Try to avoid too much fiber, which may worsen the diarrhea, or too little fibers, that may cause constipation. A balanced diet with adequate amount of carbohydrate, fat, protein and fibers (fruits and vegetables) is important to make sure your child is growing healthily and in time, his bowel habit will be back to normal without you even realizing it.