For the Love of Life: A Parent’s Perspective

The sun burns down in a glorifying manner on the sea, creating an illusion of a million pieces of shattered crystal, glinting and shimmering. The white, hot sand is a soothing balm to my weary feet. A gentle breeze caresses my face. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated, breathing in the salty sea air and magnificent landscape, while sipping on iced tea.

Suddenly, I feel a prod and a poke.

“Amma! I want milk!”

In reality, I am at home, in my bedroom, wedged between a gently snoring 8 month old baby and a 28 month-old toddler who is already up and perky, demanding her liquid pre-breakfast. As I begin to nurse her, I peer at my phone, bleary eyed. 5.12am. It’s going to be a long day.

I am a stay-at-home mum to Kirtu, my toddler and Kylash, my baby. Trading microscopes, tissue specimens and sterile environments for wet diapers, spit-up and salmon congee in my hair, I feel I’ve come a long way since my elder child was born. After all, once upon a time, I had no idea how to position my baby at my breast, let alone latch her on. Changing diapers was akin to rocket science, during those initial days.

Although I love being at home and watching my kids grow up, many a time I yearn for that elusive ‘me’ time. A breather in the noon when I can sink into a chair with my feet up and sip, not gulp down a cup of hot tea. A half hour every evening to jog around the park. A few hours every few months to have some peace and quiet in the hair salon when I go in for trims.

This brings back memories of a funny incident a month ago, at my regular hair salon. One Sunday morning, with husband, toddler and baby in tow, I head to the salon. Why the entire family, one may ask? My baby is averse to milk coming out of bottles or cups and my toddler is averse to not seeing me for more than half an hour! So, heading for the salon as one happy family means a predicament solved!

At the salon, toddler plops down on my lap and as the hairstylist snips away, my girl breaks into a catchy tune of “Amma has one booby here and some more boobies here…” pointing and prodding.

I am unsure who was more mortified, the hairstylist or myself!

A typical day at home involves toilet breaks and rushed showers with an audience of two. Breakfast is always in bed, only because most of the time I’m simultaneously nursing or patting a child to sleep while eating. Lunch is a series of gulps and swallows amidst helping my toddler with hers and getting my baby to put food in his mouth and not into his nose. While the kids have their noon nap, this busy mum is either preparing for dinner, or straightening out the house, or folding laundry or mopping up spills from lunch.

Once the kids are up, it’s sensory play time which translates to make-a-mess- time, followed by snack time and bath time. The evenings are spent chatting minimally to my husband and then cooking for dinner and lunch the next day, nursing my toddler and going through the bedtime routine with my baby, having dinner and putting toddler to bed.

In the past few months however, a few changes have occurred that have added some much needed “zing” to my daily routine. Firstly, I acquired a new friend through an online breastfeeding support group I’m in. My friend and I regale each other with anecdotes and antics, pictures of our babies and even vent our frustration to each other. We decided to start exercising and encourage each other to work out and eat healthy. I have also resumed writing and have solemnly pledged to allocate at least 30 minutes a day for some ‘me’ time which can be anything from pampering myself with a decadent dessert to reading a good book.

“Amma! I want milk!” The familiar prodding and poking amidst fits of giggles. I look up from my book.

Oh well, duty calls!