Ask Our Experts: Getting Pregnant and Racism

“If I have been eating well and exercising and still cannot get pregnant after six months of unprotected sex, would it be safe to assume that it’s my hubby who is probably having issues with his re-productivity? I am 32 and am only slightly overweight and my hubby is 36 and is also a little on the heavy side, but he does not exercise much and practically lives on caffeine.”

About 84% of couples who have regular unprotected sexual intercourse will conceive in 12 months while 90% of couples will become pregnant in 24 months. Hence, as you have been only trying about 6 months, my advice to you would be to wait for another 6 months and see what happens as you are only 32 years old. However, if you are anxious and keen to conceive faster, there is no harm in seeing your doctor for a check up to see whether there are any issues that might hinder you from getting pregnant.

Studies have shown that in couples who have difficulty conceiving, 30% is due to female factor while the male contributes another 30%. Therefore, if within a year you still have not conceive, it is important that your partner too has his sperm check for a test called semen analysis. In this test, your partner’s sperm will be checked for its count, movement and quality. Any issues could be then dealt with.

To increase your chances of conceiving both you and your partner could try several things.

Firstly is to improve your overall health so both of you need to decide to opt for a healthier lifestyle choices. This includes achieving and maintaining a healthy weight, eating a balanced and healthy diet, exercising regularly and reducing intakes of alcohol or caffeine. Smoking is a definite no-no.

Secondly, is to take some pre-natal supplements to boost your fertility and ensure your future baby’s health. Multivitamin, folic acid, fish oil and coenzyme Q10 are important.

Thirdly, have regular sexual intercourse at least 2-3 times a week to increase your odds of getting pregnant.

In the meantime, do remember to have a lot of fun while doing it and do not turn it into a baby-making chore as it may lead to unnecessary stress between you both.

Lastly, if you have a regular menstrual cycle, it may be worthwhile to know your body especially your ovulating times.

By increasing the frequency of sexual intercourse during yofertile period it will definitely increase your chances to have a baby. Good luck… blowing some baby dust over to you!

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“My sister-in-law, who happens to be my husband’s close-knit twin, has the tendency to include somewhat racist comments when in conversation with my kids who are two years and four years old. I am an Indian and my hubby is of a different race. How do I tell someone to stop corrupting my children’s minds like that?”

Your sister-in-law may not realize that you feel offended by her comments unless you voice it up. Be assertive and speak your thoughts and feelings without hurting or attacking her.

Ask to speak with her privately and then make your thoughts known – “I would appreciate it if you didn’t make such comments in front of my children.” You can also have your husband accompany you as you approach your sister-in-law privately. You can say, “I appreciate you but I find your views on race hurtful, especially in front of my children.” Most importantly, approach your sister-in-law in a calm and firm voice.